What to say to a mortgage lender when trying to refinance

(NerdWallet) - When interest rates fall, you may want to refinance your mortgage. But can you explain what you hope to get out of refinancing?

"If you want to refinance, I say, 'Well, what do you want to do? What do you hope to accomplish by refinancing?'" says Carolyn Morganbesser, assistant vice president of mortgage originations for Affinity Federal Credit Union in New Jersey.

To get the refinance you want, you need to explain your goal in words that the lender understands. This is a guide to what to say, complete with sample sentences that you can use as you kick off a refinancing conversation with a loan officer or mortgage broker.

If and when you refinance, you'll have company. Let's say 30-year mortgage rates linger around 6.125% for a while. In that case, almost 5 million homeowners would be in a position to cut their rate by at least three-quarters of a percentage point, according to Intercontinental Exchange, a mortgage data analytics company.

A refi isn't a Whopper

Applying for a refinance isn't like ordering a burger, where you get what you want, no questions asked. An ethical lender turns the request into a discussion.

Jim Sahnger, a loan officer for C2 Financial Corp., in Jupiter, Florida, says he asks, "If I could design a refinance that is outstanding for your situation, what are the top three things you'd like to see come out of it?" Maybe it's cash flow, or maybe it's money to pay off debts with higher interest rates.

Morganbesser says she tells clients to talk to her candidly, as if she were a priest or bartender: "I'm not here to judge anybody, nor is any loan officer. We're here to help you."

Be prepared to be challenged. Lou Barnes, a retired mortgage loan officer who worked for decades in Colorado, had advice for employees he trained: "Always be prepared to disagree with the client's intentions and ideas, which are often wildly wrong." It's like talking to a car mechanic. You might think you've identified the solution to your problem,